I often find that I'm told "Just be yourself." Then, I'm told "Yourself isn't good enough. Try doing this instead." Why do we judge each other? How can we measure what is good enough and what isn't? Isn't it good enough just to be ourselves?
My whole life I have struggled with being myself. I hate being judged. I think to much about what other people think. I know I shouldn't base my life off of what other people want, but I find myself doing that all the time. Last year I decided I was going to change that about myself. So I went on a journey to change myself.
If you've ever tried to change something about yourself, you know its not easy. But i was determined to stop living how other people wanted me to live, and to just "be myself." I think I struggled with this because I hadn't yet found who I was. And it is quite hard to be you if you dont really know who you are.
So I changed. I stopped listening to what people said, and I went with my gut more. I made desicions on what I wanted, not what those around me wanted. I made new friends. I lost old friends. I had good times and bad. I tried too hard and too little. I tried new things, and discarded old things. I found out things about myself I had never known. Some were good, some were bad. But above all, I finally started to see who I was. I had always looked at myself before with a shadow of doubt, because I listened too much to what people said to me, and tended to only remember the bad, and never the good. But when I stopped listening to everyone else, I saw not only the bad, but for the first time the good in myself. I saw what others missed, and I learned to embrace both the good and the bad. I saw that I had decided to change for the wrong reasons, for other people, not me. To make a change for the good, you must be committed for all the right reasons. You can't change yourself because you want to, you have to change yourself because you need to. I couldnt change myself because I wanted too: it was virtually impossible. I was trying to change a part of me that I didn't need to: that part of me was a part of me no matter if I wanted it to be or not. So instead of trying to change myself, I decided to imbrace myself. Yes, I worry about what people say sometimes, and yes, I do find it hard to be myself sometimes, but that is just part of me. If I can't learn to accept myself, how can I expect others to? Loving yourself is the first step towards others loving you. You should never have to change yourself because you believe a part of you isnt good. You are who you are, and every bit of you is essential to your exsistance. So the next time you decide to change yourself, stop and think about it. And if your not changing for the right reasons, then dont change. Because every bit of you is important. Thats what I think anyway.
